Ever since I watched The Man Who Saved the World, also known as “Turkish Star Wars,” I wanted to seek out other Turkish movies to see if they could measure up to the ass-out craziness of that film (for those of you who haven’t seen it, get on Google Video right now and watch it). I am pleased to say that my findings have led me to the conclusion that the Turks were geniuses. I say were because unfortunately the heyday of Turkish Pop Cinema ended in the early 80s. I’m not going to point any fingers, but television is the fucking devil as far as I’m concerned because that is the reason that so many of these amazing films fell into obscurity.
My viewing endeavor was Tarkan Vs. The Vikings, the second or third (it’s hard to say because a lot of these films are lost) installment in the Tarkan series. In it, Tarkan, the venerable one-man-killing-machine (eat your heart out, Schwartzengger) sets out to rescue a beautiful girl (who I believe is some sort of royalty or something, though it really doesn’t matter) from the dreaded Vikings who are going to sacrifice her to their floating rubber pool toy, otherwise known as a Kraken. Then the Vikings kill one of Tarkan’s two dogs (oddly both named Kurt) and shit goes down, because now Tarkan is pissed six ways of Sunday and vows to kill every Viking he can get his Kebob-eating mitts on. I won’t go too far into detail, but let’s just say that Tarkan teams up with some babes wearing fur on their naughty bits and then it turns into a Viking Kill-a-thon in the most glorious fashion.
This little ditty throws out a lot of hurt for its money and features a pretty good amount of awesome at bargain Turkish prices. There is exceptionally cheap rubber octopus action, dog versus said rubber octopus action, axe to the head action, slaughtering children action, huge Viking moustache action, seventies wardrobe trying to pass for Dark Age clothing action, cardboard weapon action, and guy with blue hair getting tagged with a giant spear action. Extra points for an underwater Tarkan versus octopus fight scene that hearkens all us B-movie fanatics to the days of Ed Wood. Extra extra points awarded for a color scheme that puts 2-Strip Technicolor to shame. This one comes on a DVD from Mondo Macabro and is part of a double feature with another fantastic Turkish spy flick The Deathless Devil whose main draws are a villain who dresses like Libarachi and has moustache that could easily strangle a horse and a killer cardboard robot for the ages. Check this one out, you’ll be damn glad you did. Four and a half of five stars.
Also, check out my buddies on Youtube, they do a groovy little show called The Video Dead reviews and they've got a handful of reviews to watch, so show some support!
